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Showing posts from August, 2012

The Results Are In!

First, let me say that you guys are awesome! Over a hundred of you voted in the Baddest Assyrian Ruler Name poll. For awhile it was a real (saddle-less, paired-rider) horse-race, but in the end the decision was clear. Without further ado, here are top three vote-getters:

Coming in at #3, Tukulti-ninurta!

Definitely one of my perennial favorites, the name itself fairly exudes brutality and malevolence. And that’s even BEFORE you realize that it translates to “My Trust is in (the Warrior God) Ninurta.” The first Assyrian ruler with this name conquered Babylon in the late 13th century BC, built a brand new city named after himself, and then got besieged and murdered in it – by his own sons! That is some serious cojones, and (one assumes) some seriously bad parenting. The second ruler with this name, whom we just covered last episode, spent his free time doing a little something called CONQUERING THE PERSIANS! OK, so the Persians were no great shakes in the early 9th century BC, but still –…

Episode 11 - The Rise of Assyria

“I slew 14,000 of their warriors with the sword. Like Adad, I rained destruction on them. I scattered their corpses far and wide, and covered the face of the desolate plain with their wide-spreading armies. With my weapons I made their blood to flow down the valleys of the land. The plain was too small for their bodies to fall; the wide countryside was used to bury them. With their corpses I spanned the Orontes as with a bridge.” - Shalmaneser III of Assyria

In the early centuries of the first millennium BC, Egypt, Babylonia and the Neo-Hittite states struggled to regain their footing, while Israel, Judah, Aram and Phoenicia continued jockeying for regional power. In 853 BC, the threat of Neo-Assyrian invasion compelled the disparate kingdoms to join forces at the Battle of Qarqar.

http://s407341505.onlinehome.us/Episode_11_The_Rise_of_Assyria.mp3

First Ever TAW User Poll*

The Kings of Assyria were a group of very bad men. Not “Shaft” bad - just really, truly bad. But they also had some pretty crazy-cool names. In this first-ever TAW user’s poll, I wanted to give you, the listener, the chance to lord over all of the rulers in Assyrian history (Old, Middle and Neo) and choose which one had the baddest (yes, this time, “Shaft” baddest) name of all time!**

http://www.esurveyspro.com/App/Polls/DirectPoll.aspx?id=13152

(*and totally not a stalling tactic while I continue cranking on the next episode)
(**keep in mind: poll is super-scientific, and results are 100% binding)